Unspoken…











{August 13, 2009}   Home Alone

“All alone and nobody to talk to, no one around and cant escape”… has often been a part of my life. Mom and Dad used to be out at work, sis in college, when I used to walk back from school. I used to unlatch and enter the house… throw the heavy school bag away, tear out my tie and push off those shoes and socks to confront the empty house.

I must have been 10 or 11 when we stopped going to the creche. My sister had just started with college and was mostly out. That was when my bouts of lonliness began…

Lunch was usually spent with some funny series on TV or the good ol’ captain planet, scooby doo or the power puff girls (Ohh!! I just loved those cartoons). Mamma always called around that time and I used to feel like talking to her for ages. But then again, she had work to do; and I feared that if I kept her talking for long, she might come home late. At times a few friends(all in similar situations) used to come over or I used to go over  to their place and we used to sit together and complete our homeworks. After homework and some school-girly gossips we used to make our way back to our homes. Those afternoons used to be enjoyable… but they didn’t  occur often as our parents suspected the amount of study that was actually carried out between our chats 🙂

I cribbed for weeks (probably months) about how lonely I felt. But then, I dont know when or how, I started getting seasoned to the idea of staying alone…. I actually started loving it.  I found my ways of spending lonely hours. I started enjoying it so much that I actually started hating any interruptions during those hours.  My father had gifted me a mic on my birthday. I used to put a cassette in the recorder and spend hours recording and re-recording my songs… improving and correcting my mistakes with each recording. Man! I could give wonderful performances back then!!! At times I used to dance and dance till I dropped… on any random song. I even learned to make tea and snacks for myself during those days. Tea, then, was usually a date with Nikhil Chinappa (MTV Select) or F.R.I.E.N.D.S. One fine day, I was generally going through my sister’s old book collection.. Having nothing special to do , I picked up a random book and started reading. Slowly I got so engrossed into the book that I cried and laughed with the characters.  If I could, I would actually have thrown a party every time the secret seven, famous five or Nancy Drew solved a mystery. This love of books has gradually grown through the years to make me a full-blown book addict today.

When I think back now, those lonely days made me develop a personality that is independent, confident and brave. I came to be a girl who thought beyond study texts and dream about a world of her own. Though I was never a good student at school, I managed to teach myself many things that, I believe,  made me grow as a person.

This “blissful” period of my life lasted till the third year of graduation. That is when my mother retired. Now that Dad works from home too, I hardly get those lonely moments. Looking back, the sixth grader that I was, would have hardly thought that someday I would crave for loneliness 🙂

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